Aotearoa North Meets South

It feels a world away.

This jagged rock face

the dry, bitter winds

whistling through thorny Rosehip and Mataguri

over tussocks of yellow moss.

Air so cool and fresh in my lungs that it

stings my nostrils and pinkins my cheeks.

 

This place, these shortened sunlight days,

could not be more in contrast

to the sticky heat of the bush.

 

Linen off the line that comes in never quite dry.

Ferns curled as Kora

dripping with condensation.

A constant plume of flying insects following everyone, swarming on the golden beaches.

Sand in my shoes, salt in my hair.

Hot, humid nights, staring at the ceiling, trying not to move.

Early, curtainless mornings with the sun rising into orange hue.

After a seemingly endless day, the sun drops slowly into the blue ocean.

Crumbling clay banks coming alive with glow worms.

The dull ache of tired bones after a long summer.

 

So different now, as I sit amid swathes of blankets and cushions,

curtains half drawn

log burner bellowing dry heat

watching the steam rise from a cup of tea.

I look at the mountains dusted in snow.

The lake, glass-like, reflects that very same sky.

July 2013

I gave you everything
I had and it
still wasn’t
enough.

I still think about out time
together even when
things get
rough.

I doubt you even felt me,
my deep and loving flow.
I doubt I even cross your mind
in the darkness
lost and low

I revel in the sadness
I touch the burning pain
I know my own damn madness-
it’s like standing in the rain

So now I must grieve for you,
not dead, nor buried and cold
but gone and tearing from my life
a huge and hurtful hole.

If I were made a river
and you- a deep blue sea
we’d forever be roaming on the earth
wanting to be free.

-BB